Updates and Concerns

Updates and Concerns

Today I am 9 weeks into my pregnancy, the 9 week cloud will always hang over my head as this is the week I lost my little bean last year. I haven't updated in weeks and for that I am sorry, its been a whirlwind summer for me so far. At 7 weeks I decided to drive to Dallas with my mother to visit my younger sister who just got her first place. I spent most of the trip helping her move not so heavy things and skirting the issue of why I wouldn't lift anything too heavy. Lucky for me she figured I was lazy and didn't really want to help, which let's face it at 7 weeks isn't far from the truth. So after a whirlwind of activity I came home Sunday afternoon and late in the evening had a bright red bleeding scare. I immediately emailed my doctor about my concerns and she had me come in on Monday at 7w 4d to see my little peanut on the big screen. I was so pleased to see that peanut had a heartbeat of 154 and looked to be in good health. I was then given the news that I had some slight bleeding behind the sac and if I were to have sex or do anything strenuous I would again bleed bright red. So with my fears of miscarrying we (my doctor and I) decided it would be best if I go on a sort of modified bed rest. The next big event for me was an interview for a teaching position closer to home and after two interviews I was given the job. I am looking forward to beginning this new job opportunity, but at the same time I am nervous to go into a new job with a pregnancy. I have not mentioned my pregnancy to my new employer, hell I haven't said anything to family or friends, and most likely wont until September when things start to die down at my school. This past week has been a whirlwind for me, I have had symptoms come and go leaving me with anxiety that things may be heading south. I have recently begun cramping it started towards the end of the 8th week and has progressively gotten worse (total of 3 days). I will be honest I am not eating very well, I don't want to cook and my husband refuses to learn so that leaves me eating out an awful lot. I also haven't been drinking very much water which I can now see is a BIG MUST. So with cramping for the past 3 days I can now add a bout of diarrhea to my list symptoms. I have emailed my doctor again for peace of mind, I don't expect to be called in for my current woes but I wanted to make sure that what I am experiencing is normal. Tomorrow is my 29th birthday, last year I was pregnant on my birthday as well, but I didn't know it. I pray that this year brings me all the joys and love a woman can ask for. I pray that I can celebrate my 30th with a toddler on my lap.

What A Beautiful Sight

What A Beautiful Sight
Today I am 6 weeks and 1 day, today I saw a heartbeat on the "Big Screen" also known as the sonograph machine. As soon as my doctor found my baby I let out a sigh of relief, as I had spent the morning worrying about what my doctor may or may not see. Dr. Timmins as always was very sweet and I once again realized why she is one of the most sought out OBGYNs for Texas Children's Hospital. She joked with me when she arrived to put my mind at ease and went straight into searching for piglet vaginally. As soon as she spotted "him" she took a few pictures and then the momma in me demanded to hear the heartbeat. She stated that because piglet was so small we may not get to hear it and  she was right, but she did point out the heart on the screen and said it was beating a lovely 108. On the screen I could see the tiny little flicker of the heart and for me I got a little treary eyed as I was a little sad that DH would have to hear about this instead of see for himself. Doctor Timmins informed me that piglet was measuring 5 weeks and 5 days and that it was okay for there to be a little date discrepancy as its only -3 days.
Seeing the heartbeat today was exciting and emotional for me as its one more hurdle I have overcome. My next appointment is July 12th and I should be 11weeks along, I hope the next few weeks fly by as I can't wait to see my baby again. I want to again ask those who read my blog to send out positive vibes and send up prayers.

Scared!!!

Scared!!!

My fear after experiencing my first miscarriage was that I would have to experience a second one. I am so thankful that I am pregnant now, but I can't seem to shake the feeling that history will repeat itself. My husband keeps telling me to stop worrying, but that is easier said than done. With my first pregnancy I was so carefree I never bothered to check "What Not to do While Pregnant" list or websites, now I find myself wanting to check constantly to make sure I am doing/eating something that is deemed safe for pregnant women. At church on Sunday my Pastor talked about faith and believing in God once he sets things into motion. My faith in God is what has sustained me through the loss of my first baby, then my aunt, and even my own father. I AM SCARED that I am going to lose this baby and that I won’t make it to January. I am angry that I am finding myself to have so little faith. I know I need to let go and let God, but I so want to be in control of this. After intercourse with my DH last night I am experiencing brown/yellowish discharge which has got me in a panic. I am also feeling cramping but it is very mild, Friday cannot get here fast enough as I have so many questions for my OBGYN. I will close this post with a prayer and I ask all who read my blog to send good vibes my way as I will do the same for you.

Dear God I am calling on you to help me understand that this pregnancy is not in my control. Please help me to realize that I can't live this pregnancy in fear and that you will do what you deem is right for me. Please allow me to focus on the joys of this pregnancy and take away my worry. I am now turning my pregnancy over to the Lord, continue to watch over me and my family as we take it day by day.

Doctors All Around Me

Doctors All Around Me

So last week was a very busy week for me, I spent most of my week in and out of doctor offices. First off I went to acupuncture on Monday where I found myself feeling very restless. I also experienced a short bout of vertigo and was very nervous that something was wrong; however my acupuncturist assured me that it is normal if it was only for a short amount of time. I then had an appointment with a cardiologist as I have been experiencing an accelerated heartbeat when working out or just walking around my job. After the death of my father, he died of a heart condition, I have really tried to work on my overall health. I hired a personal trainer and over the course of a few months I was able to lose 12 lbs. However, while working out my trainer brought it to my attention that my heart rate was higher than what is considered normal for my age group, it can get up to the 180s-194 very easily. With her advice I decided I needed to see a cardiologist, well after our first appointment my doctor tried to write off my concerns saying that I was just out of shape. Which to me is crazy seeing as I have worked out off and on for years, so after insisting on further testing he performed a stress test. This test involved me running on a treadmill with a monitoring device attached to my chest. After looking at this test my doctor has diagnosed me with Tachycardia, a heart condition that explains my excessive heart rate as normal. Now that I know this is my new "normal" I have a list of foods that I should avoid which I am now taking seriously. So overall my doctor says that I will be fine and that with my pregnancy I will need to stop all exercise until I talk to my OBGYN. The next big appointment was my HCG beta level test and for me this was the most nerve wrecking. I went in first on Tuesday and drew my first level which came back 360.1 and then I went in on Thursday to complete the second level which came back 731.8 my levels more than doubled. With the test I am able to breathe just a little bit better, however I know I am not out of the woods yet. I am looking forward to seeing my OBGYN Friday June 7th as I really need some reassurance that my pregnancy is progressing nicely.