Am I Not a Mother

Am I Not a Mother

I have been doing a lot of soul searching these past few months, I have embarked on a healthier lifestyle loosing 12+ pounds and I have resubmitted myself in my faith trying to become closer to God. I am dreading Mother's Day this year, this was to be my first Mother's Day as a mom. Sadly I lost my bean and now I am anticipating spending the day in bed mourning the loss of my first and only pregnancy. While so many women will be embracing their children, I will be clutching my pillow and asking God to stay with me on such a difficult day. Currently I am in my ovulation week and am finding it to be a cruel joke that my body goes through all the symptoms of ovulation (tender breast, ovulation pain, lots of CM) and yet my body cant produce the one good egg I need to become a mother. So my question today is, Am I Not a Mother? Sure I didn't give birth this year, but I did see and hear the heartbeat of my child. I saw my little belly bloat out and give the illusion of a baby bump. No I don't think I am Mother, no one gets part of a medal and second place is not first. I didn't give birth to a baby so as society sees it I am not a mother. Too bad... I'd be one hell of a mother.