What A Beautiful Sight

What A Beautiful Sight
Today I am 6 weeks and 1 day, today I saw a heartbeat on the "Big Screen" also known as the sonograph machine. As soon as my doctor found my baby I let out a sigh of relief, as I had spent the morning worrying about what my doctor may or may not see. Dr. Timmins as always was very sweet and I once again realized why she is one of the most sought out OBGYNs for Texas Children's Hospital. She joked with me when she arrived to put my mind at ease and went straight into searching for piglet vaginally. As soon as she spotted "him" she took a few pictures and then the momma in me demanded to hear the heartbeat. She stated that because piglet was so small we may not get to hear it and  she was right, but she did point out the heart on the screen and said it was beating a lovely 108. On the screen I could see the tiny little flicker of the heart and for me I got a little treary eyed as I was a little sad that DH would have to hear about this instead of see for himself. Doctor Timmins informed me that piglet was measuring 5 weeks and 5 days and that it was okay for there to be a little date discrepancy as its only -3 days.
Seeing the heartbeat today was exciting and emotional for me as its one more hurdle I have overcome. My next appointment is July 12th and I should be 11weeks along, I hope the next few weeks fly by as I can't wait to see my baby again. I want to again ask those who read my blog to send out positive vibes and send up prayers.

Scared!!!

Scared!!!

My fear after experiencing my first miscarriage was that I would have to experience a second one. I am so thankful that I am pregnant now, but I can't seem to shake the feeling that history will repeat itself. My husband keeps telling me to stop worrying, but that is easier said than done. With my first pregnancy I was so carefree I never bothered to check "What Not to do While Pregnant" list or websites, now I find myself wanting to check constantly to make sure I am doing/eating something that is deemed safe for pregnant women. At church on Sunday my Pastor talked about faith and believing in God once he sets things into motion. My faith in God is what has sustained me through the loss of my first baby, then my aunt, and even my own father. I AM SCARED that I am going to lose this baby and that I won’t make it to January. I am angry that I am finding myself to have so little faith. I know I need to let go and let God, but I so want to be in control of this. After intercourse with my DH last night I am experiencing brown/yellowish discharge which has got me in a panic. I am also feeling cramping but it is very mild, Friday cannot get here fast enough as I have so many questions for my OBGYN. I will close this post with a prayer and I ask all who read my blog to send good vibes my way as I will do the same for you.

Dear God I am calling on you to help me understand that this pregnancy is not in my control. Please help me to realize that I can't live this pregnancy in fear and that you will do what you deem is right for me. Please allow me to focus on the joys of this pregnancy and take away my worry. I am now turning my pregnancy over to the Lord, continue to watch over me and my family as we take it day by day.

Positive HPT

Positive HPT

People always say that life can change in an instant and that is so true. Last week on Monday I decided to take a pregnancy test because my menstrual was due to arrive that day, well after taking it I didn’t see the line immediately appear so I figured BFN. I then began the waiting game, days came and went and I didn’t see AF. However, I was too nervous to test. Seeing a BFN is heartbreaking and even more so when your days late.  Well on Saturday morning my Injectable medicine arrived and it was at this point my husband decided enough was enough we needed to know what was going on so he went out and brought a pregnancy test. I began testing Saturday night as I had a pretty busy Saturday morning and to my surprise I got a BFP. Well after one positive test I decided to keep testing, four test total, just to make sure my eyes were not deceiving me. I even went through the bathroom trash searching for the test I took Monday; it now showed a faint line too. It’s all surreal to me and I am just so grateful. I mean last month I received such devastating news that I never thought I would ever achieve a BFP on my own again, I just assumed that if I were to get pregnant it would have to be with the help of a doctor. I feel so blessed and extremely happy that God is giving me this opportunity, I can’t stress how thankful I really am.  Now that I am pregnant the hard part is going to be staying pregnant. I sent an email to my doctor over the weekend to ask if he believes progesterone would be good for me and if he would allow me to come in and get my beta levels taken. Well I heard from the nurse that he is still thinking about my first question, but he will allow me to come in and get my beta taken today. Dave and I decided that we would not tell anyone about our BFP until we make it safely out of the first trimester and I have sort of held true to that, I'm sure he's okay with you all knowing. If anyone is reading this please continue to pray for our sticky bean and I will update later on about the beta results.